Today is a day, just like any other day. Right? Same routine and habits kicking in before you even kick off the covers.
Or is today special and unique? Does each shine with its own brand of crazy or a new rabbit hole to fall into?
Do you follow the rules or follow your heart?
Fall in line or color outside the lines?
What is the point of getting out of bed each day? What is it for you?
What are you choosing?
What assumptions do you make.
What do you accept as “reality”?
What do you create in the moment?
You are here to do/be/create something that only you can do/be/create. Do you believe that? Do you have a knowing deep in your bones that this is true? Do you live it each and every day?
Or maybe this is a truth that you’ve buried so damn deep inside yourself that it never sees the light of day. Maybe it’s something you’ve forgotten, like a fleeting memory of the past…so distant you can’t even remember if it’s something you once knew or it’s just someone else’s story or something you read about in the newspaper.
Or maybe you have utterly no idea what I’m talking about and this is all incoherent gibberish and why are you wasting your time reading this?
Maybe.
But what if there is that very large made very small truth inside of you like just the barest flicker from a candle? What if there’s a desire that hasn’t completely died out?
What if it’s still alive despite all the naysayers along the way who have told you that this dream, this desire, this flame is ridiculous or irresponsible or unrealistic or weird? That you’re not good enough anyway. That you should just fall back into line and do what you’re told.
That the way you think, the way you see things isn’t “right” and that no one wants to hear about it. No one cares.
And then what if, just for today, you said, “So what?”
So what if no one cares? So what if no one wants to hear what you have to say or see the world the way you do? Who gives a shit? It’s not for them anyway.
It’s for you.
And it’s not really for you. It’s something coming through you. Something so deep and precious that it can’t NOT come into the light of day.
What if, just for today, you said, “Fuck it.”
And what if you gave yourself permission to simply indulge that part of you that you’ve kept hidden away…
That you tried so hard to pretend doesn’t exist…
That you allowed yourself to feel, shame, regret, anger, sadness about all rolled into a massive ball of ever evolving emotions…
That you threw yourself into a job, a relationship, a family, an ordinary life in an attempt to distract yourself so that you believed that you’re not really that person…
You’re really just an ordinary person like everyone else. And you can fit in, blend in, act perfectly normal.
What if, just for today, you allowed yourself a moment to indulge the true part of you that wants to create your own unique brand of weirdness?
What if you gave just a few minutes of your time, without any judgement or guilt? What if it was just for fun?
And there was really no purpose or reason for it.
And it didn’t have to be perfect.
Or pretty even.
That it can be messy, and awkward and not at all what you intended.
What if you didn’t have to be in control?
What if you didn’t have to follow any rules?
What if you just allowed yourself to be?
Because what is the point of all this? This life? What is the point of getting out of bed each and everyday only to live life as an imposter in your own life?
How long will you allow yourself to hide away?
Just give yourself this moment.
Perhaps the briefest part of your day really.
And no one has to know.
And it doesn’t mean anything.
It’s just the start of your journey. The journey to finding yourself.
Let that special brand of crazy out to play.
Just for a moment.
Always in your corner,
Kim B