There are countless people who consider themselves losers right now. Don’t kid yourself that you’re someone special in that regard.
So you might think of yourself as a loser. And believe it or not, you’re not alone!
Maybe this sounds harsh…but it’s the truth. And if this is getting a rise out of you, stick with me for just a little bit longer.
If you believe that you’re a loser…well then you are.
And nothing that anyone says can change that. Honestly.
No one can change the belief you have about yourself except YOU.
You have the power to change your beliefs.
In fact, you are the one who chooses to buy into this current belief that you’re a loser.
It’s not your parents, your significant other, the kids down the street, the random people on FB, SC, or IG.
You’re the one holding onto this belief.
And as long as you believe it…it’s true.
So what to do?
Resign yourself to being an utter fuck up and lifelong loser? Or maybe something else.
First of all, how do you like being a loser?
What’s positive about it?
Does thinking of yourself in this way let you off the hook in some ways? Maybe because you’re such a loser, there’s absolutely no point in trying to find a decent job or a job that you love…or any job at all.
Maybe being a loser means you might as well save yourself the time and effort it would take to put yourself out there and try to leave a current toxic relationship or find your true love.
I mean, why do anything at all if you’re so certain you’re going to fail or get rejected, right?
Because we all know, no one will hire a loser. And even if you got the damn job of your dreams, you’re such a loser you know you would do something colossal to fuck it up. So why not just cut your losses now?
Being a self-proclaimed loser can save you a hell of a lot of time, right?
And potential public humiliation and embarrassment. Who needs that? Am I right?
What else is great about being a loser?
You don’t have to try new things. Or risk being wrong. Or put in any effort. Or actually leave the house.
Maybe those are all good things!
I’m not here to judge you. Lord knows you’ve probably got the corner on that market. I’m just here to speak some truths. And it’s entirely possible (in fact highly likely) that these aren’t YOUR truths.
If you don’t think you’re a loser, by all means, no need to read any further! In fact, I’m surprised that you’ve made it this far. Has it been just out of curiosity? None of this is hitting home, right?
Cool! Then again, no need to spare any more of your time, attention, or brain cells on this. You can go ahead and continue on with the rest of your day, setting the world on fire.
But if any of this sounds vaguely familiar, then consider this…
If you are the one who gets to believe whether or not you’re a loser…and you do believe you’re a loser…then is that absolutely OK with you?
There’s no right or wrong answer here.
If you’re totally fine with being a loser, that is A-OK with me! Own it! Be the worst fucking loser in the world. And say to the world, “Yes, this is perfectly, 100% fine with me.”
But if you’re not OK with being a loser…then would you be interested in losing that belief about yourself?
But then, what would you replace that belief with?
Again, when it comes to considering yourself a loser, you are not unique. There is a whole army of self-proclaimed losers out there, all over the world. This belief crosses all gender, religious, economic, geographic, relationship-status lines in every country.
So if you’re willing to potentially release the belief that you are a loser. Well, what then?
Realize that, depending on how long you’ve bought into this belief, it might be a very comfortable way of being. It might even be embedded in your identity.
Maybe you consider yourself the “Loveable Loser” and you suspect your friends only keep you around because you’re so non-threatening and in fact, you make them look good by comparison.
Or maybe you’re the “Irredeemable Loser” and you can’t even conceive of being anyone or anything else. You’ve fucked up school, jobs, relationships, careers, family…pick one or pick them all.
Or maybe you’re the “Invisible Loser”. Someone who is so insignificant, you don’t even penetrate the awareness of anyone around you. You’re such a loser, no one even knows you exist.
Are any of these striking a chord with you?
Remember, these are all just beliefs. A belief that maybe others around you have about you, yes. But at the end of the day, it’s a belief you have about yourself.
And that’s what’s so EXCITING!
Why? Because you can absolutely control your own beliefs, and especially your beliefs about yourself.
And you can stay caged up like a bird who doesn’t know that the door is open, allowing you to come and go as you please at any time.
Or you can pluck up your courage and fly out the fucking door.
But what then?
Where will you go?
If you decide to even consider the notion that you might not be a loser. Then what are you?
A motherfucking winner?
Well, one step a time! That might be a mighty big leap to take. If you’re up for it, then awesome. But just know that if you don’t really believe it, you’re most likely going to find yourself right back where you started.
Ultimately, you get to prove yourself right.
And if, underneath the belief that you’re a motherfucking success, you really still believe that you’re a garden variety loser, then you will do whatever it takes to prove it…every time.
Ack! So troublesome. And scary. And frustrating. And sounds like you might have to put some effort in. And you’re feeling very lazy today. So sleepy. And bored. And easily distracted. And you suspect you have ADHD. Or maybe undiagnosed depression. Or maybe you’re bi-polar. You aren’t sure but you suspect there is something fundamentally broken or wrong about you.
OK, this is where I am going to turn this around for a moment…
You are not broken. You’re human.
You are not a mistake. You’re someone who is on this planet trying to figure this shit out.
Maybe you have made mistakes.
Join the club! That’s why we are here…to learn and grow. To make mistakes and then to move on. To get knocked down and to figure out what to do instead the next time.
You’re not here to live a perfect, out-of-the-box life.
No one has that life…no matter what you’ve been told.
Life is messy. That’s what makes it beautiful.
You CAN get up and get out.
You can DO something now. Today.
You can be a winner. And you already are! If only you knew exactly what game you are playing. If only you knew the rules.
Here are the rules:
You are a human being here on this planet and you have a heart and a soul that is aligned with your highest good. And whenever you follow both your heart and your soul, you will succeed.
And it might be messy. And it might not be perfect.
But you are not here to get knocked down and then just give up.
You are here to get knocked down and to get back up. To learn from it. It grow. To get curious.
You’re here to be a winner in your own game of life. And the way you win is by tapping into your own heart and soul.
Not always easy to do, I grant you that!
Today, just consider, if being a loser is just a great big lie you tell yourself…then what?
If you’re not a loser…then what are you? Who are you?
Answers might not come at first. Sit with it. Don’t judge the thoughts that arise.
What to do if you’re a loser?
Get the fuck up. Fight back.
xo – Kim
P.S. If this isn’t your cup of tea, please move on. Don’t waste your valuable time and energy by becoming obsessed with how I’m so wrong. This message might not be for you.
But then again, if it’s pushing your buttons, you might want to wonder why. Just a thought!