There is a part of you that’s scared to be who you really are. To know who you truly are and to reveal who you are.
The real you.
The You that you hide away so expertly.
I know this.
I know that you’ve spent years, indeed a lifetime of figuring out how to distance yourself from, suppress, deny, reject the parts of you that others label silly, stupid, weird, bizarre, dumb, crazy, or even irresponsible.
And of course, being irresponsible is the LAST thing you want to be!
You pride yourself on being the person others can count on, the woman who gets the work done, who makes sure everyone is taken care of, that everything runs smoothly.
People depend on you, for god’s sake to be RESPONSIBLE.
Even while everyone else around you is running around without common sense or failing to plan or think about the consequences of their actions, they know that they can always count on you to be there to pick up the pieces.
You’re the one who gets to be the designated driver, be the voice of reason, hold the purses while all your girlfriends go dancing…
Heaven knows you’re not the kind of person who would ever do something irresponsible!
You would never, ever let anyone down or disappoint them.
That just wouldn’t be right!
So that’s why you put your feelings aside, your desires, wants and needs because having what you really want, being who you really are would be selfish.
And ultimately, that’s the worst sin of all, isn’t it?
Being selfish or self-centered is the worst!
But let’s get back to the original point of hiding away that part of yourself that feels silly, stupid or irresponsible and selfish and self-centered…
That part of you that is your true creative self…
That part of you where you let your imagination run wild.
Where you create art from your soul.
That part that people have told you, “won’t ever make you money”.
You can make a living by doing that!
Your ideas aren’t good enough.
No one cares.
You’ll never make it.
Your ideas are stupid or silly or sick.
Better just give up and get a respectable and responsible career.
Don’t be a dreamer.
Don’t waste your time.
And you listen. And you take that advice. And you do what you feel you need to do to be safe and survive and live a nice life.
And you succeed in getting the career and making money and being responsible and safe…
You still don’t feel satisfied.
And you feel tired all the time. Exhausted in fact.
I know this.
And I know why.
It’s because you’re spending a lifetime of pretending to be someone who you think you should be but at the end of the day is NOT who you fucking are.
See, that part of you that you stuff down, hide away, suppress and deny is the part of you that is connected to your soul. The part of you that needs to breathe, to fly, to create.
You know this on some level.
You entertain thoughts of starting up your art and creativity again in some way. But you’re not sure.
This is one of the areas of your life that you actually have true REGRET around.
If only I had stuck with it. If only I had tried harder. If only I hadn’t listened to my teacher, my family, my friends, etc.
But it’s too late now. No one can turn back time.
Now I’m in my responsible career and there’s no turning back.
Sure, that’s one way to look at it.
No point in reclaiming who I really am. Best to stay the course and live a life of deceit and deception, pretending to be someone else. Better continue to fool everyone even though it is literally sucking the life out of me.
What if you COULD choose a different path?
What if you could choose to reclaim your creativity in some small way to start?
What if you could allow yourself to play and create just for yourself and no one else?
How would that feel?
What if it was completely fucking safe?
What if no one was there to criticize or judge you?
What if you could stop judging yourself?
What if letting this part of you out even in some small way allowed you to breathe a little deeper, feel a little freer like getting a wisp of a breeze brushing over you in almost a whisper…so faint and quiet, yet so present?
What if you could release the fear of being judged?
What if you could surrender to the urge to create?
What if you could let go of the suspicion that, at the end of the day, you don’t have anything relevant to say with your art?
What if you didn’t care?
What would you allow yourself to do?
Who would you allow yourself to be?
How would you allow yourself to feel?
What would be the cost of just getting started? Of doing one simple thing today towards creating your art?
What’s the worst that could happen?
What if nothing bad happened?
What if it was completely safe?
It is, baby. It is completely safe.
No one has to know.
You just need to decide.
You just need to choose to be OK with it.
How about for now, you just answer the question, “I wonder if I could tap back into my creative self?”
No big commitment. No sudden moves.
I’m not asking you to quit your job, leave your family and move to the desert to create art full-time like a hermit.
Just wonder for now.
And maybe make a start.
Because I’m telling you…the world needs the real you.
You need the real you.
Even if you just get started in some very small way…and wondering is a start.
Stop being so scared to be you.
It’s safe here.
You’re such a weirdo. And I love that about you!